a cheater’s tale

Whole30 day 12 and I miss ice cream. I also miss dark chocolate, red wine, gin & tonics, and my favorite movie-watching snack: Glutino pretzels and Enjoy life chocolate chips.


On Sunday I baked a cake from scratch for a friend’s birthday — a gluten-free, grain-free, dairy-free creation that took most of the morning and an extra pair of hands to execute, with two types of frosting. We delivered the cake and I had a piece in celebration with said friend and — you know what? — NO ONE DIED. The world, also, continued to orbit the sun and turn on its axis. I’m all for total compliance on a program like the Whole30. I don’t believe in “everything in moderation.” And I still felt great about that cake.

You know what else I feel great about? Cramming as many vegetables as possible into my day. Not having to weigh the pros and cons of having a cocktail after dinner or a handful of dark chocolate squares. Aiming for nutrient density. Not thinking all that much about what I’m eating. Is it a fruit? Mine. Is it a vegetable? Get in my belly. Is it high quality meat, simply prepared? Dinnertime.

I’m still eating my favorite zucchini soup for lunch every day and making eggs for most breakfasts, but lately I’ve been making these nonstop and I urge you to do the same. And yes, I’ve also been making this: a play on the “apple pie a la mode pudding” you might have seen in my last Whole30 recap and at Paleo Magazine. I contest that nearly everything can be turned into ice cream if you want it badly enough. And boy, do I ever.


Apple Pie A La Mode Ice Cream

1 can full-fat coconut milk

1 pastured egg yolk

1 Tbsp. grass-fed gelatin

3-5 apples

1 Tbsp. cinnamon

1 tsp. nutmeg

1 tsp. vanilla extract

pinch of salt

In a medium saucepan, bring the coconut milk and apples to a boil and then lower to a quiet simmer for 30 minutes. If you forget about it and walk away for the better part of an hour, the flavor will be all that much more concentrated. If you’re not concerned with your sugar intake or would prefer more of a treat, include more apples or simply add in a half cup of maple syrup while on the stove.

Once the apples are soft, remove the mixture from the heat. Stir in spices, vanilla, egg yolks and gelatin. Let cool before pureeing in a food processor or blender. Cover and chill in the fridge for an hour or two, or until it is no longer warm. Warm custard makes for impossible ice cream.

Pour the cooled mixture into your ice cream machine and let it work its magic for 25 minutes or so, or until the custard has thickened to your liking. Eat all of it, immediately, with the cool white drops streaming down your forearm.

Or, if you’re of the patient variety, let the ice cream harden in the fridge for 30-45 minutes, stirring every 10 minutes. If you’re not on the Whole30 bandwagon, top this baby with applejack molasses cookies and/or oatmeal butterscotch cookies for the ultimate yum factor. I won’t be jealous. (<< lying)


2 thoughts on “a cheater’s tale

  1. A click here, a click there and I was at cauliflower tortillas. I *cannot wait* to try those! (The ice cream sounds delish, but alas is a “forbidden food” for me now)

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